Thanks Dark Mantis: Bringer of Light!
I decided to sleep on it and wake up in a more objective mood.
Clipped on my static discharge bracelet (but I have a Corsair 650d with no surface unpainted, so I found some exposed steel on the motherboard backplate)
Unplugged the PC and pressed the "ON' button twice for 30 secs
Looked at my manual and found where the battery hides, removed 1 of my gtx 580s (I heard Gigabyte boards forced you to remove both with battery placement - not the case anymore even with 2 beastly 580s)
Battery popped out as easily as you said. Left it 1 hour & 1/2 to make sure.
Popped it back in and rehooked my tangle of wires, then hit start.
Bang! Keyboard lit up and I was in the bios, reset to optimized defaults..
Pow! I was booted back up in seconds...
So thanks again.
*I thought that if you did a bad overclock the bios would catch it and reset to defaults? Then reboot like normal. I guess not.